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:Sending her female attendant to bring the flowers used by him on theprevious day, in order that she may use them herself as a mark ofaffection, also asking for the mixture of betel nut and leaves that haveremained uneaten by him; expressing wonder at his knowledge of sexualintercourse, and the several means of enjoyment used by him; learningfrom him the sixty-four kinds of pleasure mentioned by Babhravya;continually practising the ways of enjoyment as taught by him, andaccording to his liking; keeping his secrets; telling him her owndesires and secrets; concealing her anger; never neglecting him on thebed when he turns his face towards her; touching any parts of his bodyaccording to his wish; kissing and embracing him when he is asleep;looking at him with apparent anxiety when he is wrapt in thought, orthinking of some other subject than herself; showing neither completeshamelessness, nor excessive bashfulness when he meets her, or sees herstanding on the terrace of her house from the public road; hating hisenemies; loving those who are dear to him; showing a liking for thatwhich he likes; being in high or low spirits according to the state thathe is in himself; expressing a curiosity to see his wives; notcontinuing her anger for a long time; suspecting even the marks andwounds made by herself with her nails and teeth on his body to have beenmade by some other woman; keeping her love for him unexpressed by words,but showing it by deeds, and signs, and hints; remaining silent when heis asleep, intoxicated, or sick; being very attentive when he describeshis good actions, and reciting them afterwards to his praise andbenefit; giving witty replies to him if he be sufficiently attached toher; listening to all his stories, except those that relate to herrivals; expressing feelings of dejection and sorrow if he sighs, yawns,or falls down; pronouncing the words “live long” when he sneezes;pretending to be ill, or to have the desire of pregnancy, when she feelsdejected; abstaining from praising the good qualities of any body else,and from censuring those who possess the same faults as her own man:wearing anything that may have been given to her by him; abstaining fromputting on her ornaments, and from taking food when he is in pain, sick,low-spirited, or suffering from misfortune, and condoling and lamentingwith him over the same; wishing to accompany him if he happens to leavethe country himself or if he be banished from it by the King; expressinga desire not to live after him; telling him that the whole object anddesire of her life was to be united with him; offering previouslypromised sacrifices to the Deity when he acquires wealth, or has somedesire fulfilled, or when he has recovered from some illness or disease;putting on ornaments every day; not acting too freely with him; recitinghis name and the name of his family in her songs; placing his hand onher loins, bosom and forehead, and falling asleep after feeling thepleasure of his touch; sitting on his lap and falling asleep there;wishing to have a child by him; desiring not to live longer than hedoes; abstaining from revealing his secrets to others; dissuading himfrom vows and fasts by saying “let the sin fall upon me;” keeping vowsand fasts along with him when it is impossible to change his mind on thesubject; telling him that vows and fasts are difficult to be observed,even by herself, when she has any dispute with him about them; lookingon her own wealth and his without any distinction; abstaining from goingto public assemblies without him, and accompanying him when he desiresher to do so; taking delight in using things previously used by him, andin eating food that he has left uneaten; venerating his family, hisdisposition, his skill in the arts, his learning, his caste, hiscomplexion, his native country, his friends, his good qualities, hisage, and his sweet temper; asking him to sing, and to do other such likethings, if able to do them; going to him without paying any regard tofear, to cold, to heat, or to rain; saying with regard to the next worldthat he should be her lover even there; adapting her tastes, dispositionand actions to his liking; abstaining from sorcery; disputingcontinually with her mother on the subject of going to him, and, whenforcibly taken by her mother to some other place, expressing her desireto die by taking poison, by starving herself to death, by stabbingherself with some weapon, or by hanging herself; and lastly assuring theman of her constancy and love by means of her agents, and receivingmoney herself, but abstaining from any dispute with her mother withregard to pecuniary matters.
Even in the letters themselves, however, the element of sexualimpressionability may be traced.
I had an idea at that time that the whole thing was so much an original invention of his and mine that there was no likelihood of it being practised by anyone else in the world.
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What may seem great now could lead to a lot of pain and discomfort in later years. Just for today, imagine that you are Queen of your household. 97 “Love and Pain,” Studies in the Psychology of Sex, vol. Their ideal was akalokagathos, a youth beautiful in body and soul. That was the last thought she had until almost noon the next day.
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When a relationship ends, we may immerse ourselves in work, household projects, or hobbies. In the book which theKnight of the Tower, Landry, wrote in the fourteenth century, for theinstruction of his daughters, this factor of modesty is naïvely revealed.